But If Not... Week #51

So another week here in Russia.. Tomorrow is my year mark in Russia can you believe it.. Man my first day here was nuts. I can't believe that was a year ago!! It's crazy to me how time works on a mission. I feel like I've been here my whole life haha but in reality not even that long. I've been thinking a lot about these past couple months and I'm not going to lie I kind of broke down. Right now we have investigators, but no one really wanting to progress. I feel like I've been in this spot for 7 months. I keep wondering like Heavenly Father I'm doing all that I can? What more do I need to do! Then I just felt like everything that could go wrong has gone wrong haha I've probably felt every single emotion on the mission. and continue to feel it every single day. I think maybe I'm not learning what heavenly father wants me to learn or there is just a lot more that I need to learn.. 

I've learned that people accomplish great things by trusting in the lord and keeping his commandments right? They exercise faith even when they don't know how the lord is shaping them. I have learned over and over again that even if things don't turn out the way I hoped. I know that faith is more than mental assent, more than an acknowledgement that god lives. Faith is total trust in him.  Faith is believing that although we do not understand all things, He does.Faith is knowing that although our power is limited, His is not. Faith inJesus Christ consists of complete reliance on Him.

The lord has given us agency, the right and responsibility to decide. He tests us by allowing us to be challenged. He assures us that he will not suffer us to be tempted beyond our ability to withstand. But we must understand that great challenges make great men and women! We don't see tribulation, but if we respond in faith, the lord strengthens us. This life is a test and right now god has the power to literally do everything. But it's our test. And he is just preparing us to become as he is. Think about how we could grow without trials in our life. I know for me sometimes I'm just like I'm done. I don't want to do this anymore. But then I realize that if I give up what good will that do. Even though I may not be baptizing every single person I see I know that god has a better plan for me. And right now he's just building me up and making me strong then I could ever be. In the end we just need to trust in him. Even when we may feel like there is no end. 

Our God will deliver us from ridicule and persecution, but if not. … Our God will deliver us from sickness and disease, but if not … . He will deliver us from loneliness, depression, or fear, but if not. … Our God will deliver us from threats, accusations, and insecurity, but if not. … He will deliver us from death or impairment of loved ones, but if not, … we will trust in the Lord.

Our God will see that we receive justice and fairness, but if not. … He will make sure that we are loved and recognized, but if not. … We will receive a perfect companion and righteous and obedient children, but if not, … we will have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, knowing that if we do all we can do,we will, in His time and in His way, be delivered and receive all that He has.